05 April 2013

Tomb-Sweeping Festival



Ticket from Wuxi to Xuzhou.  Note the station names.  There are multiple stations in both cities, the East Station ("Dong" in Chinese) in each city is the only one to use for high-speed train travel on this route.

Picture of my gate, with the train number and time
Inactive gate at Wuxi East Train Station
"King-Size" bed in my hotel toom, made by combining two twin beds
"No Smoking" sign in my room, despite the blurry shot.  Good sign, right?
Not so much.  An ashtray with matches, along with the fruit platter.  Perhaps an ashtray alone could merely be provided for convenient extinguishing, but matches?  Clearly the non-smoking sign is not intended to be taken seriously.  This is China, after all.
The shower has a crackle-glass window to the bedroom, with a blind.  But really, why would you ever want to pull the bind up?  (Unless you're a blogger like me.)
Replica of traditional cart in the lobby.
Small statue of a famous general from Xuzhou history
My return ticket.  It was surprisingly easy to get.  Again, note the station names.
On the way home, I saw a drum performance in front of the community center.
Close-up of drum performance.
Not everyone has the holiday off.  At my school, workers wer busy converting some of the grassy area to parking spaces.
April 4 is Tomb-Sweeping Festival in China.  This is a day set aside for Chinese people to honor their ancestors by tending to their graves, and performing pagan rituals such as burning ghost money and setting off fireworks to scare away evil spirits.  Others will simply use the time off work to gather with family.

This festival is always celebrated on the fourth day of the fourth month.  (Not lunar calendar, though most traditional festival dates are set by the lunar calendar.)  In order to give us three days off together, the Government recommends (or requires) employers to move the work days following to the nearest weekend; or, to put it the other way around, steal days off from the weekend to append to the festival, at the cost of working on the weekend and working more days straight.

So, I have the 4th, 5th, and 6th, off (Thursday-Friday-Saturday), but I have to work Sunday through Friday following.  After Sophie had seemingly cancelled our meeting in Xuzhou, I went to the east train station to get a refund on my train ticket, and thought I'd relax by getting a massage.

Just before the massage, I got a phone call from her.  It seems her text message had referred to something else, and she was still prepared to meet.  Well, I agreed to try.  After the massage (nice, but I may try another place in the future), I went home, packed quickly, and set my alarm early.

After an early breakfast and a private car trip to the central station, I found that tickets for Xuzhou could only be had at the east train station.  (This, I'm sure, is due to the way the tracks are laid out.  My prevous ticket had been purchased some days before, through an agent's office nearby, which could not provide refunds.)  At any rate, I had to take a long taxi ride to the east station, and there purchase another ticket.  Fortunately, it was for the same train, so I would arrive in Xuzhou with no wasted time.  Unfortunately, I had already wasted over 100 RMB in car fares and return fees.

After getting to Xuzhou East Station (where all the north-south high-speed trains pass through), I took a taxi to the central train station, near the long-distance bus station where Sophie would arrive.  (Her actual hometown is outside of Xuzhou, about an hour by bus.)  I waited for her in KFC.

After she arrived, she helped me check in to a hotel.  (The first one we went to couldn't help me.  It seemed good enough, but they were not licensed to take foreigners.)  The room had a "King-size" bed (actually two doubles put together with large sheets), a no-smoking sign, and a fruit platter.  It also had an ashtray, with matches.  (Think they're serious about the no-smoking sign?)

However, the strangest feature was a window between the bedroom and the shower.  It had a blind which could be lowered and raised from the bedroom.  I had no idea why anyone would want to raise it except to take a picture, but it was there.

After depositing my luggage, Sophie insisted that we must meet her brother and sister-in-law, and eat together with them.  So, we took a taxi to the brother's university, they picked us up, and took us on a car ride (made quite long by the holiday traffic) to Pizza Hut.  Her brother could not find a permanent parking spot, so he let his wife take us to Pizza Hut.  The pizza was tasty, but too cheesy.  (Two fatty meals in a row.  I paid for it later.)

At the meal, we were talking somewhat at cross-purposes.  Sophie wanted me to do what I had to do to make her mother happy.  (This would involve figuring out how to buy an apartment, and promising to stay in China.)  I tried to explain that her mother had threatened me in an attempt to control me, and that such threats come from unsafe people, and an unsafe person like Sophie's mother was not someone I wanted to maintain a relationship with.  It was really hard to explain.

Finally, they took us back to my hotel, where I had some things of Sophie's that I wanted to give her.  They let me take her to my room so we could have some privacy.  There, I had to explain very firmly, that this relationship would not work, and I had to say goodbye.  She did not take it very well, but, in the end, she had to accept it.  I took her back to her brother's car, and said goodbye.

After that, I didn't feel like going anywhere, so I stayed in the room until it was time for shower and bed.  (I did find the CCTV English News channel on TV.)  In the morning, I ate the fruit provided as a first breakfast, then finished dressing and went downstairs for second breakfast.  (It was mostly Chinese breakfast food, but I did find enough healthy food to make a decent meal.)  After checking out, I took a few pictures of the lobby and left.

A taxi ride to Xuzhou East Station, a wait in line at the ticket counter, a train ticket to Wuxi, another taxi ride to Shin City Plaza, lunch, some food shopping, and I was on my way home.  On the way, I saw a drum performance/practice/ritual outside the nearby community center, across from the high school, so I took a few pictures.

As I passed by my school, I found that not everyone was relaxing during the holiday.  The school was using the time to have additional parking spaces installed.  This was probably wise, as car use has greatly increased in Wuxi since the school was built.  But it may have been a bummer for the workers who had to work over the holiday.  But, they may be paid double or even triple for such work, and I'm sure they need the money.

At any rate, that was my short trip to Xuzhou.  Total of about six hours round trip, less than 24 hours in Xuzhou.  But, it was not a pleasure trip.  It was an important (and in my view, necessary) closure to a serious relationship.  I'm afraid Sophie is still holding out hope for us, but as far as I'm concerned, I've said goodbye.  I hope that, in time, she can learn to accept that.

Prayer Requests
Firstly, praise God  for allowing me to meet with Sophie, and protecting me on the way.  My limited language skills were adequate to the task of getting where I had to go.  Everyone stayed safe, my biggest problem was a minor issue related poor dietary choices, two meals in a row.  But that only caused me minor discomfort and inconvenience.

Next, please pray for Sophie, that she would accept this decision, and, in time, come to understand it, and forgive me for any hurt I may have caused her.  If you feel led, please pray for Sophie's mother, that she would learn to love her daughter more, and help her find a suitable mate according to Chinese custom.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for praying.