This blog entry has two purposes. First, to assure my readers that, despite my long absence from this space, I am alive and well and living in China. Second, to honor my sister, Autumn, who turns an unspecified number of years old today, November 26.
First, a quick update:
Employment
I am currently working at a preschool called "Wuxi International Child Care", or WICC for short. The Chinese name translates as "Love Child Star Kindergarten" or "Love Child Star Early Teaching Center". The ownership is Australian. The kids are mostly Chinese, with a leavening of other Asian nationalities and a few from other places. It's hard, but I've learned how to teach English to pre-rational ESL kids, and I actually enjoy it immensely despite the challenges. Sometimes the management does some strange things, but, so far, no problems I can't handle there.
Love Life
I broke up with Sophie some months ago. There were several reasons, including communication problems and a basic lack of maturity on her part. She's working as a translator at an airport in Xuzhou, last I heard, and both her job and faith seem to be going well. I currently have no new girlfriend, but I have one or two girls that I'm interested in. Matching schedules is a bit difficult. Pray for God's wisdom in this matter.
Church Activities
The previous leaders of our small international fellowship, Annette and Stefan, moved to Germany after a long time out of the country, in the interests of their family. God has provided a new couple, Jean and Martin, to assume the leadership. They are a young couple, but quite well qualified to provide both spiritual and musical leadership. Unfortunately, Jean is currently recovering from a C-section, which means I have to step up. I have been acting as treasurer for the fellowship funds. And now, for the main content of this entry:
Lessons I Learned From My Sister
How to share space in close quarters.
When my sister and I were growing up, we shared one bathroom. This helped us learn how to arrange our morning schedules efficiently, and also how to comfortably move around one another in a small space. In China, where space is often at a premium, these skills have come in very handy.
How much work it takes to become truly proficient at a musical instrument.
When we were growing up, my sister studied piano, and I studied trumpet. Well, I pretended to study trumpet. Really, I usually put in the minimum time and effort required to keep my mom from withholding food and other privileges, and sometimes not even that. As soon as the requirement was lifted, I quit. My sister, however, studied diligently for six years, and still continued to play from time to time. I don't think she still plays much, being busy with two small children, but I can tell you that I wish I had put in similar practice, and kept it up, at either piano or guitar. Our fellowship is in need of musicians to help lead worship in the Chinese church on Sunday mornings. I can sing, in multiple languages now, but I can't play an instrument with any skill. I have great respect for those who have put in the required time and effort. Autumn, I wish I'd followed your example.
Girls aren't impressed by looks or strength, they're impressed by courtesy.
This lesson I owe to my mother as well as my sister. While a lack of funds discouraged me from seriously pursuing any girls in the U.S., my mother and sister impressed on me what girls pay attention to. It's not bulging muscles or macho talk, it's common courtesy and respect. It's deferential treatment, listening, and holding the door open for her. In short, it's "acting like a gentleman". This has done a good deal for me in my interactions with women here.
Keep it clean.
While girls aren't impressed so much by physical appearance, I did learn from the women in my early life (my sister not the least) that they do pay attention to hygeine, both personal and environmental. My sister usually kept her room pretty clean, while I had to be nagged by our mom to pick up books, etc. Of course, I make a diligent effort to keep my own person neat and clean, for multiple reasons. However, I found that I was getting lazy about keeping my apartment clean. I've been really busy, and I found, "It can always wait another day." So, I hired a cleaning woman to help with cleaning my apartment, keeping the floors, kitchen, and bathroom clean. Such work is very cheap here, especially for a small place. My language skills are now adequate to handle whatever communication is necessary for this.
Some people are more sensitive than others to environmental irritants.
Of course, almost every American knows that exposure to secondhand smoke can significantly increase the risk of respiratory disease. My sister's airway was particularly sensitive to this on a short-term basis. Not just smelling cigarette smoke and worrying about cancer or emphesyma, but almost immediate wheezing to even a slight exposure. I know she's not the only American person with similar sensitivities. Her trouble made me more sensitive to this issue.
So, I will not invite or encourage my sister to visit China. I'm very sorry, and I'd love to see Autumn and the whole Boyer family. However, most of the men here seem to have a very primitive attitude about smoking. I've often had to ask people (in Chinese) to stop smoking, in clear view of a no-smoking sign, and even gotten in fights with particularly intransigent individuals. There seems to be, for the most part, a callous indifference to the effects of environmental irritants on other people. In many places, the no-smoking regulations are barely pro forma. They are observed in public buses, hospitals, and childcare centers, but there's always supposed exceptions like men's restrooms and fire stairways.
Also, tobacco smoke is far from the only environmental irritant here. Pollution from cars with lower emission controls, smoke from fireworks that seem to be set off every day for some reason, and other things less easy to name. It seems China still has a long way to go in this area.
Finally, I want all my readers to know that, despite the many challenges, difficulties, and things that are other than I would wish them, it seems clear that God has put me here for a reason. My teaching ability that blossomed in a preschool setting without formal training, my language ability that compares very favorably, and my continued overall health despite the pollutants and poor sanitation here. Other people could be better prepared and do much worse on arrival here; in fact, I've met some who have. There are opportunities for my gifts to be used here, and there are things for me to learn, and and incentives to grow.
Prayer Requests
Please pray for the international fellowship, and its continued ability to serve the people of Wuxi Christian Church. Our main problem is a shortage of qualified musicians, especially with Jean recovering from surgery. Only God can supply the need in this area, I cannot do it.
Also, please pray for my continued health. So far, I have had only minor problems, and been able to deal with them successfully at the Chinese hospitals, with God's help, and my improving language skills. However, sometimes people get hit with something major for no apparent reason, and that could make things very difficult.
I will try to be more active in this space, but I can't make any promises. Hope you enjoyed the entry. Happy Birthday, Autumn! Thanks everyone for reading, and thanks for praying.
